A few days ago someone from a bank who’s name begins with ‘S’ (not the person, the bank) which has red livery and whose boss is one of Forbes’ most powerful women in the world, contacted me and told me that my eSaver account interest had dropped to almost zero, as the account had been open for 12 months, as that is what happens to eSaver accounts after a year That was nice of them to tell me, I thought.
So, did I want to make an appointment to go and discuss options for the account? Yes, even though I don’t have much in the account.
So, yesterday I went into town to keep the appointment. I met the assistant, who said “Well, Mr MacLeod, we don’t seem to have much detail here about you. Why did you want an appointment?”
“I didn’t” I replied, “You invited me to make an apppointment.”
“Oh, did I? Do you know what it was about?” he asked.
“Yes, the interest on my eSaver account, which has been running for just over a year, has dropped to almost zero, and you suggested discussing what to do about it.” I responded.
“How do you use the account?”
“Every month or so I withdraw some money from it.”
“Oh!” he continued “Well, the best account you could have in those circumstances is an eSaver account.”
“It’s already an eSaver account” I pointed out.
“Yes, but it’s an eSaver account which has been open for a year, and therefore the interest has dropped to about zero.”
“I know.” I said, “You told me that when you phoned me, and I’ve just told you that.”
“Quite. So what you need to do is open a new eSaver account. Then the interest will once again be 2.9%”
“A new eSaver account?”
“Yes. Open a new eSaver account, transfer the funds from your old eSaver account into the new one, and then you’ll earn 2.9% for a year.” He answered.
“Seems a bit of a bother in terms of paperwork” I continued “but OK then, can I open a new eSaver account, then?”
“Not here, I’m afraid. You’ll have to do that online, from home. It’s an Internet only account.”
“OK. So…you phoned me to invite me here to discuss what to do with my eSaver account, and now you tell me that the best thing would be for me to go home and open a new eSaer account, transfer funds from my old eSaver account to the new one, then you’ll send me a new card to replace the one I have just now, and then I can close the old eSaver account, and I’ll be back to exactly where I was before?”
“Erm…more or less. Sorry about that.”
“Will I have to do the same next year after the 12 month period runs out?” I enquired.
“Yes. Sorry about that.”
Well, I ask you! I wonder how much of a bonus the genius who thought up all of that got.