I was a bit concerned to hear that Fat Mac was “Easin’ up a wee bit oan ra training schedule. Ah dinnae wanna peak tae earlie.” But I was pleased to hear that he had at least given some thought to fitness.
“Mac – how’s the training going?”
“Ah’m easin’ up, Roadz. Monday, I walked to ra bus stoap.”
“But it’s just outside your flat.”
“Naw. I walked to the next stoap, roon ra corner.”
“Ok. That’s something.”
“An on Tuesday I walked a’ ra way hame frae the offie wi eight cans o’ Guinness.”
“How far was that?”
“At least twa hunner yerds.”
“That’s not far.”
“But I then hid tae kerry sivin of them up three flights of stair to ma flat.”
“Well, that’s some exercise, at least. Why only seven, though?”
“Ah hid tae drink wan at the boatum, fer tae get ma strength back and tae mak the kerry-oot lighter.”
“I have my doubts as to whether that is adequate fitness training for the holiday.”
“Roads – It’s only a wee walk in ra pairk.”
Strictly speaking, I suppose he’s correct. Our forthcoming holiday does involve a walk in a park, but if only Mac had read the trip notes more carefully he’d realise that the Singalila Ridge trek is a 6-day walk in a national park in the middle of nowhere on the Nepalese border, at high altitude.
I reckon I’ll have to sub the muleteer a few rupees to let Mac hold on to the horse’s tail to get a lift along the trail.
As I mentioned in another recent post, Mac needs micro-management assistance to do virtually anything. It’s like having a five-year-old in tow. So I was not surprised when I received an email from him saying:
Panic stations! What’s the score with vaccinations? My GP wants six weeks to give me any and don’t seem to be able to give me a vaccination history. (from previous trips). What should I do? Mac.
My immediate thought was – Don’t be ridiculous! He’ll expire from the altitude long before any horrible diseases have a chance to take hold.
What he’ll also need to do is watch out for the leeches. Lindsey and I have some leech socks, from a previous trip to Sri Lanka.
Lindsey and my training, on the other hand, is going well.
Yesterday we walked the Eildon Hills, near Melrose. Several years ago, when he could still walk, I did part of this stroll with Mac. His verdict was that it was OK, but that there were “Nae enough pubs”.
Note: There’s at least some exaggeration in the above. For example, I know for a fact that the off-license that Mac gets his Guinness from is no more than 150 yards from his flat.